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My sis actually broadened my thoughts after having some discussion with her on the decision whether to take the post or not
I just want to be frank to myself and everyone
Initially, I was keen to grab a post, of any
Why ar?
For koko marks lo, as assurance for my future...
But whether I'll get or not doesn't really matter too
When I was told that I'm selected as the president the day before AGM, I hesitated...
Do I really have the ability to run the club?
You know...
When people tell me
"You really capable lie.."
"You can de..."
the more I doubt about myself...why me?why not other people?
For sure out there will have lots of capable and possess better leaderships person
And all these years, I hadn't learn how to reject people

Forgotten how did my sis got to know about this matter
But throughout the conversation, I actually see the whole picture from different perspectives
There's a lots that I learned within that 30 minutes
"Have you ever thought whether you can cope with your studies especially when you going to upper 6?I don't even see you have extra time to watch tv lo, everyday homeworksss homeworksss..don't even join me to have a run..bla bla bla"
Not sure la..but in previous years I've neglected my studies for my extra CC
"what's you priority in form 6?"
study first..
"If I were you I'll rather spend those time to have a stroll, or swim, or read a novel..bla bla bla..life is not just about study and those business stuffs..etc"
Ya lo ho..why not?I'm so in love with swimming now and I've left ''The Kite Runner'' aside for more than one month
"What's the points to take the post?Are you really keen to be the president?Are you really passionate about the club?bla bla bla la..."
Hmmm...be frank...not really keen at all..whether to take or not doesn't matter and not really passionate about it..
There's lots more...can't remember all la

Only then I realised my initial priority of having form 6
I wanted to fully concentrate on my studies, not to involve in any directorship, just to be an active member and to accompany my mum
You know la...things will never follow your plans and your expectations
Because of the competitive environment ba..
make me lost myself and my priority
I'm sick of those president or any posts stuff
After I finished my SPM only I have got the time to spend with my family and to really care about them, and to have my own time to take care of myself
So why now I make my life so busy?Hmmm..maybe in other way round, is to be occupied and enriching

I can tell you la...I'm not really a good leader
What you see from the outside cannot define a person isn't it?

After having a deep and deeper thought, I decided not to take the post in next morning..
But still ended up in taking over the club
Too many people convinced me and wavered my decision lo...
OMG!!
Am I so manipulative?
Whatever la..
Since everyone entrust the great responsibilities to me I'll try my best to make the club fun and interesting..
No way to U-turn and no points to look back or regret already
*Sigh
Am trying not to pressurize myself otherwise I'll have countless sleepless nightsssss

I'm 堕落-ing la...
Ish!!!

This world is scaring me
In certain situation, the more you talk the more offence you make or the more misunderstanding you create
That is why I rather choose to be silent
Yet little that make me lost control and speak harshly or unwisely
People make mistakes right?
I wonder what so difficult about forgive and forget
I wonder why people tend to forget the true value(s) of their possession(s)?
I wonder why we often demand for a betterment, forget that we've been so indulged in life even when we chewing white bread?
What a sinful life?
What a pity life?
Nothing is perfect ba...


''当烦恼越来越多， 玻璃弹珠越来越少
我知道我已慢慢地长大了''

What about....
''当白发越来越多， 快乐笑容越来越少
我知道我已慢慢地长大了?''

Hahahaha...
Haiyo..Haih...Hmmm..
Don't know la..In fact my white hair getting more and more lo
Wow!!!
I have two colours in my hair!! Hahahaa...

''What a depressing world?''
Sounded familiar...
I'm so depressed
Depressing.....................
Durhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Kalau you tengok aku muka masam
jangan cakap dengan ku
Sebab saya tak ada mood pedulikan you
i terlalu depress sangat
(eh...bahasa apa ni?)
ISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What's wrong with the world?
No la...should be what's wrong with me?
I want to vent my emotion la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want silence

A lot
Lotssss has happened in a week
Unexpected one, blur one, etc...
Sometimes feeling tired of human
Perhaps tired of myself?
You know..gossip can be serious matter, it hurts others, and hurt gossipers themselves
I'm not saying that I never gossip about other business at all
But am trying not to comment on else one's matter, cos we're not supposed to do so
As we're not the one who experiencing the process(Hey, dont be too sensitive, not condemning anyone ya :P)
I saw two zombies this week because of gossips stuff and unexpected event that befell on them
Hmmm...I know that He's testing them
Sometimes really find it hard to really offer my helping hands
Cos I'm really not supposed to do anything, maybe moral support is more than enough
(Eh..actually I used to mention God here la, but ho, I'm not specify on any God, just simply a God to me la...hahaha..I'm still looking for the most suitable religion for myself)

I'm tired of the way being treated
Not being appreciated and it feels like being used
Maybe...I deserved it lo...=(
It's fine..I'll get my hands clean off from the matter soon...

Sigh..
Why should I sigh?Why am I talking about tiredness?
Mummy said I've no right to sigh...
Long way to go down the road, how am I supposed to continue if I simply sigh for the downs?
Life's not so bad...
Mummy...It has been so long(not too long also, one week but for me it's long) that I have not pestering my mummy
Has been showing moody and dull face to them, not even answer them in a proper and mannered way, even showed my dissatisfaction to my dad
I don't know why la
Perhaps it's to do with girl's matter...girls know la..(PMS lo)

Of all the time we have, how much have you given to yourself?just to yourself..
Tutorials...overloaded already la...my capacity is fulled now
Perhaps this is the time to learn time management and emotion management

When is the last time you looked up at the darkened sky in the silent night, with the shining stars blinking at you?
I'm breathing lie...so amazing~
I still holding on my breath and holding on my smiles
My smiles shouldn't defeated by anythings

Yay!!!! Let's take a breath

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBFV93XBkVw&NR=1
...
Aiks..
I don't know how to upload video
but here to recommend you one extremely funny video by NTU students
I almost laugh until my stomach burst lo
Not that exaggerate also la
Hahahaah...
But it's funny lo...
OMG!!!
Hmmm..their highest cgpa is 5

Nothing is balance in this world ba
Though seemingly balance, but there surely will have infinite unbalance, not even prefix to replace
Hmmm...
Maybe it's time to learn
I've been too dependent on people
Really la..
You know, some people may seem unimportant and negligible in your life
Yet when they're no longer around you'll find yourself losing something only when you've indirectly connected yourself to them
What am I supposed to do with the metallic-cold, yet occasionally LOL class?
Tell the truth la, I really can't stand those who don't offer help or pretend know nothing fellows!!
And those who find easy way out so that they have less and easier work to do especially when it come to a group work, maybe I'm too stupid la..U%^*o%p&_&#@*_
I ''smiling''
May god bless me la, I believe I'll learn more
No pain no gain right?
Learn from the pain..
SMILES too.......:)

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Base codes: Hilary
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